Realtime . . . Right on Time . . .

We just never know when someone – literally out of nowhere – will take the risk of speaking something boldly into our lives.

Something that means something.

Something that was needed desperately.

Something spoken with courage.

Something that is real, and just as importantly, is right on time.

The funny thing though, is that when a person takes that risk because God gently tapped them on the shoulder and said, “Go ahead, I got this,” it is always on time!

If you are new to this blog, then welcome to Realtime! If not, then you may have been wondering what happened, and why you have not received any blogs in quite some time. There are those however, who may be relieved that you have not been bothered with it. 🙂


Regardless of the seasons and/or reasons for the “time out,” it is time for our encouragement and exploration to resume, and I am glad you are along for the ride. I sincerely hope you stay the course as we walk and talk out some of the real struggles, and wonderful blessings we experience along the way. Sometimes it’s pretty and sometimes it’s ugly. Then there are those times when it is pretty ugly. But that’s ok, as long as it’s real. If we’re being real, there are some eye-opening discoveries we need to share, whether or not everyone thinks it’s ok to be transparent.

Jesus was transparent – never leaving any doubt about his thoughts or feelings in any situation. If my goal is to mirror the character and the life that Christ lived among us, being real is not negotiable. It is a must! I can’t wait to see and hear how many of you feel the same.

I’ve walked through some new struggles lately – the kind that throw you off course and cause you to wonder things about yourself that you might never utter to another human being. The kind that slam you onto your back and although you imagine that you’re up again, fighting for your life, it’s really just a mirage and you’re really still laying there, bleeding out ever so slowly. But you don’t know it.

I don’t know if it’s a phrase that is overused or not, but one that is often spoken by or about people that have walked through struggles is, “A Crisis of Faith.” I am not completely confident that I know for sure what a crisis of faith really is. But what a friend boldly and courageously spoke into me earlier this week left an impression that now gives me the latitude to think I have a pretty good idea.

The friend said to me, “Our walk of faith is a balancing act of action and trust. The Holy Spirit is our helper and sometime we sit around waiting for Him to “do something”. But, helper implies that we are already doing something that we need help/support with. So I encourage you in your passion. God will work out the circumstances but I can promise you it will look NOTHING like what you thought it would in the beginning.”

There is no doubt that I am not the sharpest cheddar in the fridge, but neither am I the bleu. Like a delivery of flowers or an important package that is supposed to arrive at a specific time, this God-laced statement arrived with some Gorilla Glue already on it, nice and sticky, and ready to adhere to my heart.

We all find ourselves in places where action is easy, but trust is hard. Conversely, I doubt there are many of us who have not also experienced a time or two when trusting has come almost naturally, while the ability or even the willingness to take action seems near impossible – almost like being paralyzed.

Oh wow . . . do I ever have a story to tell you about that! But in the midst of the struggle, and thanks to some early and wise encouragement from a long-time brother, this part of the journey has been spent looking for ways to Glorify God, even though the struggle has been immeasurably tough.

We have to summon the energy to push through the mental, emotional, and spiritual cobwebs of a personal trial to determine whether ours is an absence of trust or a lack of action. Making that determination is the first piece connected in this large, complicated, and constantly changing jigsaw puzzle we call life.


But once that “absence” (trust or action) can be correctly identified, we still have to stand up on our own feet, learn to walk again, and know that the One we are trusting will hold us up, and dust us off when we fall.

The coolest thing about this encouragement of outrageous words of life? We have neither seen nor heard from one another in at least 35 years. The details and logistics are not important because God directed the whole thing from a curiously hidden place, unbeknownst to anyone other than Him.

And when that friend heard His voice, felt the tap on the shoulder, and said, “It might be bold, and it might be awkward, but Yes, I will,” He sat back in His chair, crossed His arms, and smiled broadly.

As always my friends . . .



(Thanks for putting up with my crazy thoughts. I’ll be asking you again to be interactive with the blog on most occasions. That’s how we “Show up,” and it’s what gives God the chance to “Show off!” I crave, and really look forward to interacting with you, and as always – if you have any thoughts, ideas, or experiences that would make good “Blog-Fodder,” send it on! You can send it through this forum, or you can email me at Thanks for taking the ride!)



About Kyle Hargrove

There's really not much that's all that special about me . . . It was probably about a decade ago when I realized that "in all its glory." At about that time some of life's recent experiences taught me that regardless of who or what anyone ELSE is, and regardless of how much I may have built MYSELF up, I'm just one life circumstance from being just like anyone else. Although my pride took a ding in the process, it was ultimately a positive and humbling experience that gave my life a different direction altogether. I'm a pretty ordinary husband and father . . . Of course, ordinary comes in lots of shapes and colors. My wife Debbi and I have been married since 2000, and both of us had been previously married. She is a school administrator and has a work ethic that has been passed down generationally - usually leaves home in the dark, and for at least half the year, comes home in the dark too. We're praying that as our kids get through college, she can retire and fulfill some of her most intimate dreams. Debbi and I have five children (Adam, Cameron, Callye, Caleb, and Brandon), one grandson (William), one son-in-law (J.R.), somewhere around five "adopted kids," (not officially but in our hearts), and four dogs (Symon, Sombra, Sophie, and Duke). I often say that I love my kids and love my dogs, but there have been days that I liked my dogs more than my kids. That is of course, suggested in jest . . . mostly :) One of our sons has completed college, and the other four kids are still finding their way through that maze. We love Auburn University (Debbi's alma mater), and Texas A&M University (doesn't everyone?) It took a long time for me to understand my job . . . Professionally, I've had the opportunity to experience some fairly diverse "job titles." I came up as a burgeoning sports journalist, switched to church staff ministry, returned to school to earn two masters degrees, entered the world of private practice, experienced the world of corporate training, founded a Christ-centered residential drug and alcohol rehabilitation center, and enjoyed some more private practice. Oh, on top of that, I have enjoyed the thrill of becoming a teaching chef in my spare time. All of that took a lot of learning, understanding, and energy. But in 2003 through the benefit of Fellowship of the Sword, a ministry out of Fort Worth, Texas, God showed me what my real job was, and for the first time ever, I really, really "got it." He showed me that my real purpose in this life was to first serve Him, and in the outflow of that, to serve my wife, serve my children, and serve anyone else, anywhere else, who exhibited any need, whatsoever. For a very egocentric person, learning to serve is initially kind of hard. But as the blessings start to roll in, it becomes a joyous lifestyle. It's not always easy. I'm not always successful (I'm still kind of selfish). But it is one of the highest privileges I enjoy - the calling from God - to serve people - just like He did. If we're going to develop the character of Jesus, we had better get serving - the sooner the better. Cooking, singing, golfing, reading, speaking, teaching, and writing . . . Those are a few of my favorite pastimes outside of "work." I try to not let those things define who I am, but sometimes the golf thing gets in the way a little bit. And I'm really not that good. But I value my recreation and free time. I love being around people, and meet very few "strangers," but need "me time" too. I prefer outdoors to indoors, cool weather to hot weather, mountains to the beach, and being active to sitting still. I have traveled the world, and want to find new places, and visit the previous ones again. You could say I was born with a sense of wanderlust. I want to encourage you . . . This blog may have themes but the desire to write it, and the commitment to maintain it is about one thing more than any other. If through the blog, you can be encouraged, recharged, reminded, uplifted, motivated, or if you can just relate to something you read, I will sleep well and know that God has used something - as benign as it may seem on the surface, to help you move forward in understanding who you are, and what your purpose ultimately is. Life was intended to be dynamic - not static. One of my good friends Ricky Bobby once said, "If you ain't first, you're last." Although there may be some detractors to the actual truth (or benefit) of that statement, don't you want to live your life progressing? I don't want to sit around and wish I was getting better at what I do, or who I am. I was born to pursue - to improve - to invent - to move forward. When it's all said and done, I'd like to know that I ran after God, rather than for Him to have had to run after me. We'll all be challenged . . . Writing is sometimes as much about me as it is about you. My "bag of tricks" comes as much from my own experiences as it does anything I've learned from a textbook. I don't know about you (actually I do but certainly can't speak for you), but the things I have learned in this life have typically come from challenging circumstances, mistakes I've chosen to make, mistakes I've unintentionally made, places I shouldn't have been, and a myriad of other mostly-painful experiences. I think we're a lot alike. And I think we're about to find out. As always my friends . . . FINISH WELL!

Posted on November 20, 2015, in For Men, For Parents, For Women, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Kyle, God words in mysterious ways… Having giving that as my introduction, I was going through my emails and folders. I put your blogs into a folder because my email was getting cluttered-we all know I don’t do clutter well. I said to David, “I wonder why Kyle stopped blogging. I really enjoyed those and I enjoyed reading the comments and learning from others. It was my part of my spiritual uplift and growth.” Then I remembered I had your phone number and I was going to text you. We switched carriers and your number was one of the numbers that didn’t switch over into my contacts. I made a mental note to ask David if he still had your contact. With my first official year of teaching and dealing with a child that has major behavior issues- (actually, my intuition tells me, it’s more than behavior-but I am not a LPC), I have been typing up all my anecdotal notes to give to the principal. I am going to bed emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually tired so I didn’t have a chance to ask him.

    When I saw your blog, I immediately picked up David’s phone and there you were in his contacts. God just knows when someone needs something and gives it to them at the right time; but as I always heard, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.”

    I often wonder what a Crisis of Faith is and when, how, or why does this crisis happen? Or is it a test of faith and is it being tested during a crisis or crucial time in your life. I don’t have any answers just more questions. Does the Holy Spirit come when one wants the help or does He come when one needs the help even if they don’t want the help. Some people spend their life in a crisis whiles others seek to get through the crisis. Other wait around expecting the help-entitlement is probably a better word. While others take action, but what kind of action? Once again, more questions.

    I received a post on Facebook today talking about prayer. It reminded me of the times I would ask my mother when I didn’t know what to do and she wasn’t sure, she would have the same answer for me, “Pray.” Even after I told her I did pray. She would then say, “Pray some more, just keep praying, but pray. It’s the only thing you can do.” She never really answered my question; but as I think back, she did answer my question, just not the answer I wanted. As I watched the Power of Prayer in action when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I finally understood why she would say to pray in a time on need, confusion, despair, crucial decision making, or crisis. “Pray. Pray some more, just keep praying, but pray.”

  2. We won’t know why He broke until we know why He healed us. I can’t wait to see what comes of all this brother….

  3. Good word Kyle! Faith and Action creates Faith In Action:)

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